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Being a child isn’t always easy. There are lots of new challenges around every corner, from changing schools and meeting new people, to exams, bullies, sickness and just growing up in general. In order to navigate these challenges, children must be resilient and able to solve problems in a positive way, so that they cope well with stressful or unfamiliar situations. Parents can help their children become more resilient, using the following tips from an independent school in Hampshire.
- Take a Step Back
As parents, we’re often inclined to help our children whenever there’s the slightest chance they’ll need us, but unfortunately this doesn’t help them learn how to deal with things on their own. They need to understand cause and effect and how certain decisions lead to certain outcomes, which they won’t be able to do if you handle everything on their behalf. Let them struggle sometimes, let them make mistakes, and eventually they’ll have the confidence and independence to cope with problems and move forward from them in a healthy manner.
- Encourage Your Child to Develop Different Skills
Don’t let your youngster carry out the same activity over and over and over, because this won’t help them expand upon their skills and knowledge. Encourage them to help you in the kitchen and the garden, take them to new locations, introduce them to lots of new people, and suggest new activities for them that they haven’t tried before. If they don’t enjoy the new activity, then fair enough, but at least they have been given the opportunity to try. The more skills they develop during their youth, the better equipped they’ll be to overcome obstacles. New experiences will also help your child learn that nothing is as scary as it first seems.
- Use Positive, Optimistic Terminology
When talking to your child, try and instil them with a sense of enthusiasm, rather than dread. For example, if you’d like them to get swimming lessons, don’t say “I really want you to learn how to swim so that you don’t drown”. Instead say things like “I think it would be great if you learnt how to swim so that you can go in the ocean or the pool next time we’re on holiday”. If you have an upcoming presentation at work, say something like “I’m sure my presentation will go well as I have worked really hard on it”, rather than “I’m really worried about this presentation, I hope no-one asks me any difficult questions”. If you always have a pessimistic attitude around your child, they won’t have much confidence in their own abilities to handle problems, because they will always fear the worst. Essentially, you need to demonstrate resilience yourself in order to raise a resilient child.
